Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Enjoy your sleep while you can!"

This. This is perhaps the most annoying comment you can give a woman who is past her due date (Or just late in pregnancy. Or just pregnant.). This is annoying because A.) You have no idea how she slept the night before (which probably sucked), and B.) You have no idea how wonderful or how poorly her infant will sleep. If you have said this to me at any point throughout my pregnancy, you may have seen a smile and shrug, but you missed me thinking "oh shut. your. mouth." That being said, it is much different for me now that my internship is done. This is because now "if" I don't sleep well, I can sleep in (note: by "if" I mean "when"). I am not exaggerating when I say that in the past week, I have spent most of my time in bed. For example, last night I went to bed with Ceej at 9pm. It takes 2-3 hours to fall asleep because the baby likes to head-butt my bladder causing me to get up every 20 minutes for those first few hours to use the bathroom (pretty sure my newborn will not be doing that). Then I woke up every hour to pee from 12-4:30am. Then I was awake 4:30-6:30, just chillin' in bed. In this time, I got up to cut up an apple for my husband to eat for breakfast (I bet you're expecting me to say "just kidding" - but this is actually true). After this I finally slept well and "only" woke up every 2 hours to pee from 6:30-12:00. Your math is correct in that I was in bed for a total of 15 hours. Am I enjoying being able to do this? Yes, I am. Do I remember what it was like to sleep through the night (with one pee break, obviously). No, I do not.

Here are some other things I have learned, being over-due and all:
1. Catcalls while power-walking/waddling still exist, but they seem even more pathetic.
2. Manners during phone calls no longer exist. For example, it is now acceptable for all individuals to answer my calls with "ARE YOU IN LABOR????" No, but thanks for the reminder.
3. That being said, my phone calls are answered more often and/or called back in a much more efficient manner than ever before.
4. I now know very intimate details of the births and pregnancies of many different women/strangers. Case in point: I was in the computer lab at an elementary school during my internship and a teacher whom I had never seen before started telling me about the black hair that covered her stomach and back during her pregnancy. Lovely.
5. I have been asked very intimate details about my body from strangers. Family, friends, and medical professionals are one thing - but if I do not know your first OR last name, I do not wish to discuss discharge, weight, or how far my cervix is dilated. Thank you.
6. There is such a thing as being too clean and organized.
7. Bones of the back, hips, and butt endure a sad life while hosting a growing fetus.
8. You never feel totally ready for baby, but there comes a point when there's just nothing else you can do to get ready for baby.

So there you have it. I am almost a week overdue, and thankfully still feeling well considering how long I've been pregnant. I've been walking every day, cleaning/organizing, meeting up with friends, cooking, playing games and doing fun dates with Ceej. Last Saturday we went swimming at Chaos water park and then out to dinner with my brother and his girlfriend. Swimming was not pretty to say the least - but my oh my! The glory of being free from the gravitational pull on my body was heavenly. I highly recommend it, although make sure you leave time for a nap afterward because your body forgets what it feels like to weigh a million pounds and does not remain light and free flowing. I'll leave it at that. I've been having semi-regular contractions (uncomfortable ones - not just the tightening of Braxton Hicks) for 2 and a half weeks now. They are less regular this week but more intense. Sometimes they cause me to drop to the floor in pain. My overall "readiness" is variable. 2 weeks ago I was pumped. Last week I was completely terrified with the thought of having a child. This week I'm excited to meet my baby and feel ready to quit prolonging the inevitable - life is going to change, and I'm ready for it to start. I keep thinking about holding him or her and watching him or her grow and change over the years - it's a pretty amazing & very exciting feeling.

I had an ultrasound last week just checking in, and our baby got 8/8 for health (yay!). They gave us a picture of its face, but I will not be posting it for fear you will think our baby looks like a pig. WHY they gave us the scary looking face shot rather than the cute profile of it sucking on its hand is beyond me. And no, they did not disclose the sex, and I could absolutely not tell what I was looking at enough to figure anything out. We still have the best surprise of our lives awaiting us.


adam and andrea said...

people say a lot of smack-worthy things when you're pregnant..it's amazing.

Good luck! Being a mom is really the best adventure you'll ever have! Can't wait to see pics of the little peanut!

Edwin and Chelsea said...

HAH Great post Em!! Miss you!!!

PS Have you been watching any trashy tv during your down time? What was that one show...??

Tabitha said...

I totally agree with Andrea! Excited to see some pics of your little one.